Summer came & went like an ocean wave. To be honest, my summer started off amazing: seeing celebrities in Santa Monica, watching Bruno Mars in concert, and my long awaited trip to disneyland. I was excited for summer 2011.. I had plans of keeping a daily diary and updating my Tumblr, but on June 15th (the day I went to disneyland with Neg, Lexi, and Andee) I realized just how much my life was going to change. I knew the magnitude of the situation, my dad had cancer. I knew he was not going to make it, but I did not give up hope. When my dad was hospitalized many doctors came into the room to explain the situation we were going to face some time in the next few months; my dad was going to die. They told us he had less than 6 months to live.. My dad never spoke. He knew he was going to die and he understood the reasons why he had cancer and never questioned it. He simply accepted his fate and told us not to cry before time. There was only one person he was worried about and that was my mom.. Obviously she was devastated, she had lost her mother a year ago.. And now her husband was going to pass away.. My dad was 51 years old when he passed away on July 22, 2011. We were there: my brother, mother, aunt, and myself. We honestly couldn’t believe it. I saw his heartbeat drop and then it stopped. I didn’t know what to do. At 12:05 AM, my dad was no longer with us. I cried, but then at that moment my godmother and godfather arrived at the hospital. My brother and I went to pick them up and when we came back I broke down. I could not stop myself.. The pain I felt.. Reality hitting in the face.. It was a feeling I had never felt before and even now I do not know how to explain the way I feel. The only thing I know for sure is that there is a huge hole in my heart and it will never be filled in. It has been 2 months since he has been gone and it still seems unbelievable to me because I want him to walk in through the front door, to argue with me, to kick me out of the bathroom because I take too long to get ready.. I miss him so much. I know we did not have the best father-daughter relationship, but that does not mean I did not love my dad because I did and I know he knew that. I know things have changed and they will never go back to the way they used to be, but I will make my dad proud. I will graduate, get my bachelors degree, go on to graduate school, and get my career started. I know he will always be looking after us from where ever he is, <3

It has been 3 months and I have decided to blog again,
Ana